Happy Little Bees
by IntraSule
Summary: Why is Ichigo pissed again, as usual? And why is he wearing a ridiculous uniform reminiscent of a Queen Bee? Read to find out!


*Okey-Dokey, I think I'm getting the hang of publishing on this website, so I'm happy for that. (Deadpanned: yay…)

Well, anyways, here's a little diddy written about Ichigo, you know, the freaking awesome shinigami from Bleach. Now, before I continue to needlessly babble…

Disclaimer: Bleach is not, and I repeat, NOT mine! For if it was, Ichigo would have been violated by Chad and Uryu already. Ichigo belongs to Kubo. There, I said it. (u.u)

I am very pissed off at this very moment. Probably wondering to yourself, "Well, what could be making the easily-irritated Ichigo Kurosaki pissed this time?" I really don't feel like getting all touchy-feely and unloading my problems to a complete stranger- whom probably would have some creepy anime or plush-toy fetish- but since you're here and already know there's an actual reason behind this disgruntled look this time, I guess sharing wouldn't kill me.

It started out as a bitch of a morning, when I've been woken up by falling out of bed, rushing to get ready because I'm already twenty minutes late for class, dropped my toothbrush in the toilet dad forgot to flush _again_, find that Kurobara- the little black kitten Karin found and took home because she thought he looked cool- shredded my 5-page report on the anatomical structure of the human body, and I come to school filled with angry teenage girls who've found up-skirt pictures of themselves in _my _locker (note to self: give Kon an extra spin cycle in the dryer).

Think this long list of unfortunate events caused my terrible mood? Oh, how I wish you right, because I have something worse to share: after coming home an hour late- what with my shinigami duties I had to fulfill- and getting the beat-down of my life from my dad, here comes little sweet Yuzu holding out a package wrapped in black and yellow-striped paper and a booklet on top.

"What's this?" I asked her, relocating my dislocated shoulder.

"It's your uniform, Ichi!" Yuzu chirped.

I looked down at the wrinkled uniform on me. "I'm already wearing my uniform," I replied.

"No, no! Not your _school _uniform," Yuzu corrected me.

"Then what the heck is it?" I pressed, already feeling the impatience grow.

"Don't tell me you forgot, Ichi!" Yuzu cried.

"Obviously, if I asked you what it's for, then I forgot whatever is supposed to be remembered.," I pointed out matter-of-factly.

"It's your uniform for the Happy Bees group," Yuzu said. She extended the package to me.

"What the hell's 'Happy Bees'?" I wondered aloud.

"It's Yuzu's frilly little sunshine group the school made the girls join up for," Karin said as

she came downstairs from her bath. She toweled her hair dry and slapped the towel onto

the couch. "Everyone 'cept the soccer team, fortunately."

"It's very cool, too!" Yuzu chirped. "We can cook-"

"You do that here, Yuzu," Karin stated.

"We can bake-"

"You do that here, too, Yuzu."

"Make clothes-"

"You do that here…"

"Plant flowers-"

"Basically, it's home ec, or the things that Yuzu _does at home,_ without the benefit of a grade," Karin droned, flopping on the couch and clicking the TV on.

"No, it's not!" Yuzu pouted. When she turned back to me, the pout disappeared. "Thanks so much, Ichigo! You don't know how much the Bees and I appreciate what you're doing for us!" She bowed slightly and still held the package out for me.

I took the package and examined it, asking, "What d'ya mean 'what I'm doing for you?"

"Wow, you really _did _forget, huh, Ichigo?" Karin sat up on the couch and stared straight at me. "The Happy Bees needed a Queen Bee." A coy smile played her lips as she waited for me to make a connection.

"_Needed a Queen Bee… Here's your uniform, Ichi… the Bees and I appreciate what you've done for us…"_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. "No way is this happening! I am _not _going to be a Queen Bee for a bunch of silly little girls with a stupid-looking costume on! I… I have homework! Schoolwork! I'm a Soul- uh, sole B+ average student. I don't even remember- you!" I pointeda stiff finger at Yuzu, making her jump in surprised as I addressed her. "Exactly the day and hour when I volunteered!"

Yuzu hesitated, trying to comprehend my order. Then she figured it out and replied brightly, "It was last Tuesday, at 7, when you came home from school."

I racked my mind for memories. One popped up: Along the walk home from school, I spotted two souls- twins- as they were trying to escape this mob of hungry and menacing Hollows. I knew I had to save the twins, yet my father would beat me to a pulp _again _for coming home late. To be able to kill off the Hollows, send the twin souls to the Soul Society, and be able to make it home on time, I swallowed Kon's capsule-

As I began to seethe in unspeakable rage and plot even worse punishments for Kon- from a quadruple spin cycle in the dryer to gagging him, binding him to a chair, and glue his eyes open so he'd be forced to watch that all-male hentai video, "Loving His Basket-Balls", that he mistakenly downloaded on my laptop- Karin started a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"I don't see what's so funny to you, Karin!" I sneered. "You're stuck in this club, too, remember? 'It's Yuzu's frilly little sunshine group the school made the _girls_ sign up for'?"

"Every-one-except for- the- soccer- team!" Karin sputtered in her laugh. When she calmed down enough, she clarified for me, "Basically, Happy Bees was made so that the students with nothing to do have some place to go to. Girls had Happy Bees, boys had Joy Moths. But since I was already in the soccer team and signed up for Machete Musketeers, I didn't have to be a Happy Bee."

"Machete Musketeers?" I repeated.

"As stupid as the name sounds, the club's really awesome. We learn the types of swords, how to fight with them in their origins' unique sword-fighting style, participate in national tournaments, and at the end of the year we make our own weapons _with actual blood-shedding blades!_"

"W-w-wait a second!" I sputtered, shoving the striped box into Yuzu's arms. "D-don't they need a-"

"We already have an instructor: Rukia. She accepted as soon as the school asked her."

_So, _I thought, _not only did Kon trick me into becoming the Queen Bee of some silly girls' club, but Rukia decided to withhold such a prestigious offer from me, knowing fully well that that I would have accepted the position in what could be the coolest club ever and not be stuck in some silly version of Girl Scouts. Hm, I wonder how much trouble I'll be in if I hung a dead rabbit in her locker-_

"It's okay, Ichigo," Yuzu said in a hushed voice. "If you don't want to be our groups' Queen Bee, then I'll understand. I mean, it was pretty stupid of me to ask a _teenaged boy _to do something like this in the first place, right?"

I heard her voice breaking and turned around, catching Yuzu's glistening eyes of unshed tears before she quickly looked away. She turned away and began towards the stairs.

"King Bee," I said loudly.

Yuzu stopped middstep and looked at me. "What?"

I sighed in annoyance and defeat. "If I'm going to be in this frivolous little club of yours, I want to be referred to as 'King Bee', got it?"

Yuzu's face brightened and her tears finally fell. She wiped them away and gave a wide, grateful grin. "Yessir, Queen Bee Ichigo!"

"King Bee! King Bee! How the heck did you forget what I told you a nanosecond ago? It's 'King Bee Ichigo!" I snatched the uniform from her arms and stomped up the stairs, Yuzu shouting her gratitude and promises of fun as Karin burst her guts with even more laughter.

Well, now that I've brought you up to speed with how I came to this unfortunate position as King Bee of this bunch of Happy Little Bees or whatever they call themselves, I guess I can debrief you on the two weeks that followed: Twice I've been stung by angry bees during a honey-extraction assignment, five times I had to be beaten up for wearing my Bee uniform out of school (by _Chad, _and if you get beaten up by a gentle giant wearing silly shirts all the time, then you _know _you look freaking ridiculous), the girls at my school laughed and took pictures non-stop (and probably posted it on the Internet), Rukia kept "subtly" comparing her job of training students how to fight, block, and dodge sword swings to my job of teaching kids how to knit, cook, and kiss disgusting boo-boos; I almost set the school's cafeteria on fire during one of our cooking lessons, each day these stupid striped pants gave me wedgies, and once I combusted completely on my way home after the club, something I don't even know how it happened but pretty sure it had something to do with that one Bee who kept giving me the stink-eye.

You know, if it wasn't for Yuzu's sweet, grateful smile every time I show up, or her excited eyes looking at me with admiration whenever we go through our next activity, I think I wouldn't even bother to show up the next day.

Hope she knows how lucky she is…

~END~


End file.
